Dealing with the 'downs' amongst the 'ups'!

I am a pragmatic person, who wants things to be real ... I want integrity. If something promises to be life changing then I expect it to be! The gospel is no different ... I did not become a Christian because I agreed with a creed or theology - I heard a message of 'fulness of life' in Christ, along with the promise of an intimate and imminent relationship with the Living God, my Father in heaven - through faith in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. I responded and have spent the years since increasingly understanding that 'fulness' and the One who made it possible.

So on that level I want integrity, but integrity works itself out on another level as well. It is great went things seem to flow and the Lord hears and talks to you. But, what about those times when it all seems like hard work? and the heavens seems as though they are a brassy, impenetrable barrier? How do we deal with that? We have to show a level of integrity at those times and acknowledge they are there and work through them too. This can be exacerbated if you are in leadership as others still want encouragement and support - even if it feels as though you are pouring out of an empty pot!

So, this is how I had been feeling for a few weeks, but now don't - so what made the difference? Why did it happen? What did I do to get through?

Having reflected on this experience - came to the following conclusions (at other times ther answers are different - so always good to ask the question!)

Answers - Don't know, Don't know and nothing different! But there are some reflections that have been helpful.

1/ It is Christ's power to keep me that is more significant than my sense of feeling 'kept' - He holds onto me with an irresistible power, that is far greater than I hold on to Him. So trust in this anchor keeps us from drifting.

2/ What is the deeper purpose of the Lord's dealings with me? To form Christ in me ... Godly behaviour, attitudes, actions etc. He knows how best to lead this process and what that process should look like, so times of trial and testing bring forth growth.

I liken it to standing on a beach with the water up to my knees - I want to go deeper and Father knows that. So at times the water recedes - I then have a choice, do I walk out further or stand still and wait for the water to return. If I choose to go further then when the water returns I find I am in deeper than I was before - which is my desire. If I stand still then, when the waters return I find I am in the same depth and making no progress.

3/ What did I do differently? Nothing, I continued to read the Bible and other books (hard work) and pray (though without much hope for answers!) and do the things I have been called to do. The Lord was still at work through my obediance - because it is not about me, it 's about Him. Prayers for healing were answered, people encouraged and blessed.

The key is to keep going, persevere to the end - do the things that we should do, then once we have walked through the season we find we are deeper in Him.

James 1:2-4 is helpful.

I am sure this will happen again - though next time He will have other things to teach me! This is victorious living!
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